I've always thought there was something wrong with me. At least that's how people always treated and continue to treat me. "You're too quiet." "Why are you so shy?" "What's wrong, you're too quiet..." on and on and on. I'm not quiet because something's wrong and I'm not really all that shy. I just don't care to fill every moment of every day with endless, pointless chatter. I can't do it, I don't like it. That's that. I can be socially awkward (to some people), but in my head, I'm just trying to end the conversation as quickly as possible so I can have some peace.
People don't seem to understand the desire to be alone and quiet. I don't know if it's an introverted thing or just me, but I like to do things on my own, I set my own goals and all I need is my own satisfaction to get me by. I don't need constant encouragement (sure, sometimes I get down, I am human after all, but I don't need someone always patting me on the back, pushing me along my 'path' to my calling).. Others can't seem to understand that.. "What helps you do better?," I'm asked, and I just want to say, "Leaving me the hell alone makes me do better," but of course, that's not the answer they are looking for. They want me to say something that allows them to be needed, allows them to get involved. Sorry folks, that doesn't work for me, it just pisses me off.
All this group stuff can be thrown in the garbage for all I care. I loath working in groups or doing group activities that make me feel as if I'm in elementary school all over again. Every environment I've ever been in is geared toward being a social extrovert. Someone who needs social interaction to get the juices flowing. That's why either in school or work, we have never-ending meetings about one thing or another, spending two hours talking about something that could have been done in five seconds. I sit there, grind my teeth, predicting everything that is done or said, listening to them all repeat themselves over and over again, and pray to God it's over soon.
I get that there are others who need that social interaction, but there are those, like me who think better in the quiet and can't even fathom coming up with a decent idea with all the chatter going on. One is not better than the other, they are just different, and if I can see that, why can't they? I've gone so far as to explain it to some people and they still look at me funny like I have a disease or something. I'm starting to believe extroversion equals narrow-mindedness, based on what I've witnessed time and time again.
I wish, I SO wish that those around me would realize that they aren't the only types of people in the world. You can't treat everyone based on the same kind of personality traits.
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